Oh the joy of a college student during FINALS week. Wake up at 8:30 to go to class, group meetings, and more class. We study for 3 hours, get a 76% on the test they just studied 3 hours for and just walk out of the testing center to study for the next exam which is usually due the next day if not the SAME day. Did I mention that in the midst of all of this there is a modern dance performance you are a part of and a ballroom dance competition going on opposite sides of campus at the same time and you are supposed to be at both? Yea. that happened tonight. April 5th was still good to me despite all of the chaos. It's 5:30 in the morning on April 6th and this is the first chance I had to get all of this out. I haven't slept all night due to the fact I have a final project due today. It took me 3 hours... to plan out the next three years of my life by choosing courses I should take to stay on task and graduate asap. For the next three years I will be taking no less than 16 credit hours a semester and that's not including having to throw in internships, and depending on how I'm feeling, Cheerleading. What a DRAG!
I am however pleased to say I am very comfortable with my decision to be a integrated art major emphasis in Photography with minors in business AND education. To tell you the truth I've been very comfortable with most of my life choices as of late. Conference was so good. I have to say my favorite talk was by Richard G Scott about companionship. ;) it was fabulous and it has helped me a lot in just two days. My second favorite talk was by President Monson about Temples. AMAZING, I was so involved that I didn't even realize twenty minutes had passed before he was done.
On the other hand I am very confident in my decisions to be focused. There is so much to be focused on I just need to find my priorities. I'll tell you the truth, this past semester has been a challenging one and my priorities were no where near where they should be. All jumbled up and crazy but this is where you realize you could do better and FIX IT. Here I am, attempting to fix it. **wish me luck** Well since it is after 5:30 in the morning I figure it's time to cook. My no bakes are chilling and blue berry muffins are about to be made. I'm craving an Orange Julius though and I know I could really use a little OJ in my life right now. Where is Spencer when I don't want to make it though? He has it down to an art but he's thousands of miles away. just living the life with my family... without me :P I still have four months in Rexburg but I cannot wait to get out. I want to be home coaching and working until I can't stand it anymore. I want to go to Italy and shop in downtown K-Town. But alas these wishes must wait. It's only about 109 days... I can survive, I think.
Well now that this "all-nighter" that I have participated in has dwindled to only two I think I should start the muffins before they wake up. I orignally stayed up to keep Alexis company but she's asleep. GO FIGURE. until next time, keep it real. Stay Strong.
Live.Laugh.Love
-StephAni-
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
June 9, 2010
What a week it has been!! I'm currently trying to keep myself busy and find a job that will help me for the next 7 months. AH! it's all so crazy but it's what's best i think. BYU-Idaho will be best for me and get me away from everything i was/am falling into. It's time to get independently stable for the next few years. But in the mean time I'm keeping myself occupied with books. I'm currently reading Stephenie Meyer's newest Twilight book about Bree Tanner and it's pretty good. I'm also waiting for a book to be sent to me called Diamonds Are Forever. i'm really excited to read it and it just can't come fast enough. But it will give me time to finish the one I'm reading. Reading keeps my mind off things I don't want to think about and takes me to my "happy place" I guess you could call it. Too bad I'm not a better writer or else i could create my happy place on paper :) But i do get to write Erik. I like hearing about his missionary stories and he sends the funniest pictures that are cartoons with quotes on them. funny little comic type things. I miss him so but I'm still so happy. I will admit i could use a friend and he was only the best friend anyone could ask for but it is quite alright. I will just have to be the social Stephani I used to be. SCARY! haha. just kidding. I'm not anti-social like the rest of my family. Oh, I love them so. Well that's all that's new besides a new hair cut and my hilarious grandmother who is staying with us for the next month or so. "Jerk face." At least I have her to keep me company and make jokes with.
-StephANii
-StephANii
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
May 4, 2010
I made it through yet another semester here at ASU. I have made it through an entire year of college life and i still long for more sleep. I can say that this semester was a lot better than last semester though. Cheesey as it may seem, I have found myself. Who i really am. I compare my many years of living and I have one thing sticking out in my mind especially right now. "living in the moment" All i heard throughout high middle and high school was that phrase. LIVE FOR THE MOMENT. I don't know what was up but it seemed like when i was "living for the moment my life was great for only the moment and it would suck not too long after. The problem? It wasn't the phrase or the peer pressure. It was simply that i was living for the wrong moment. I was told by all the wrong people to live for the moment. I was told that the moment i was living for was because i could die the next. Still a true statement but it was taken in the wrong sense. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, We are counseled to live for the moment too only it wasn't the moment i was living for. The difference is in the perspective. Growing up, it was about doing everything you can because you might not get to go bungee jumping if you die tomorrow. You won't be able to kiss a boy if you die tomorrow. You won't find another stupid moment with your friends like this so do it, do it NOW. do it because there is nothing better for you if you die tomorrow. Well as you can tell things have changed. I'm living for the moment but that moment is tomorrow i may die, i may not see my friends for a very long time but Tomorrow may also be the day i met my maker. Who am i afraid of? I don't mind anymore what people think of me as a person if i say no. Standing my ground is what my moment is. Could i possibly die, give up my spirit knowing that i didn't put up a fight for my rights? Could i be happy with whatever is to come next if i know that i was as a fickle little girl only doing things for the moment of pleasure and not the moment or eternal happiness? I'm living in the moment. I'm living this moment for the moment to come. Not the non-existant moment that would make me want to do something stupid because i might not get another chance like this. This is a long journey i'm on. i'm trying not to get caught up in the future and the things that will make me happy in the future but i'm not living for the wrong moment either. What moment are you living for? Whatever it is, i hope it makes you happy... Eternally.
-StephANii
-StephANii
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
it's been awhile... ok, over 6 months.
so today i got a thought. REASONS TO BLOG....
There is the 1. to keep people informed and keep me from going insane. (it's a nice way to vent). then there is 2. something funny/worth telling happens and you just HAVE to let someone know. even if not many people read the blog. on day it will make someone happy. next, 3. you physically can't talk to communicate. this morning i went to the dentist and got a painful stabbing in my mouth at least SIX times. needless to say i'm numb more than i should have been. i can barely control my right eye. haha. it is kind of funny. anyways. the point is. i can't talk. there are a lot of reasons to blog but i also started thinking (sorry i just can't stop thinking, i'm STEPHANI).... why HAVEN'T i been blogging?
OH YEA! i'm not a broke college kid trying to survive and every spare minute was spent eating, catching up on my lost sleep, relaxing with friends or at church. it was worth it but i realized i miss blogging too. so here i am. i could be doing more but i have reasons for not doing it too.
cleaning the kitchen: i'm hungry and can't eat because i might eat my tongue instead. so i might as well not clean because it's too tempting. cleaning anything else would be almost crazy because i might just make it worse :) -fyi. i just bit my lip-
eating: I can't because i will eat my tongue instead. it will hurt after i can feel my face again. the end.
reading: i like reading but the book i'm reading i have already read half of it. but i started from the beginning again so it's boring until i will get to where i left off. and it's taking me FOREVER because yes. it's not the fun to reread things. movies yes, you can watch them again and again and they may or may not ever get old but reading books are like, you need something new. end of that story
ok. i'm done. i don't need to explain more. one last thing i found worth noting is things you don't want to hear while you are dozing in and out in a dentist's chair.
here is a few that i heard that you may never want to hear for yourself.
1. "wow, she has a LOT of tissue."
2. "....well, she's young!"
3. "look at this. it's intact! i've never actually done one and it still be intact"
now you have to trust me, you don't want to hear dentists (a black lady and her assistant) plan a white history month. they plan foods and talk about trips to france, england and whales. and then they end it with, "i'm sorry we are talking about food with us drilling you. that's not nice. you must be hungry..." (honestly WHY would i be hungry when i was stabbed in the mouth several times, that alone made me lose my appetite) I think you should stop talking to me and just do your job.
I'm gone for now, cooping with my face and lack of feeling.
<3 Stephani
There is the 1. to keep people informed and keep me from going insane. (it's a nice way to vent). then there is 2. something funny/worth telling happens and you just HAVE to let someone know. even if not many people read the blog. on day it will make someone happy. next, 3. you physically can't talk to communicate. this morning i went to the dentist and got a painful stabbing in my mouth at least SIX times. needless to say i'm numb more than i should have been. i can barely control my right eye. haha. it is kind of funny. anyways. the point is. i can't talk. there are a lot of reasons to blog but i also started thinking (sorry i just can't stop thinking, i'm STEPHANI).... why HAVEN'T i been blogging?
OH YEA! i'm not a broke college kid trying to survive and every spare minute was spent eating, catching up on my lost sleep, relaxing with friends or at church. it was worth it but i realized i miss blogging too. so here i am. i could be doing more but i have reasons for not doing it too.
cleaning the kitchen: i'm hungry and can't eat because i might eat my tongue instead. so i might as well not clean because it's too tempting. cleaning anything else would be almost crazy because i might just make it worse :) -fyi. i just bit my lip-
eating: I can't because i will eat my tongue instead. it will hurt after i can feel my face again. the end.
reading: i like reading but the book i'm reading i have already read half of it. but i started from the beginning again so it's boring until i will get to where i left off. and it's taking me FOREVER because yes. it's not the fun to reread things. movies yes, you can watch them again and again and they may or may not ever get old but reading books are like, you need something new. end of that story
ok. i'm done. i don't need to explain more. one last thing i found worth noting is things you don't want to hear while you are dozing in and out in a dentist's chair.
here is a few that i heard that you may never want to hear for yourself.
1. "wow, she has a LOT of tissue."
2. "....well, she's young!"
3. "look at this. it's intact! i've never actually done one and it still be intact"
now you have to trust me, you don't want to hear dentists (a black lady and her assistant) plan a white history month. they plan foods and talk about trips to france, england and whales. and then they end it with, "i'm sorry we are talking about food with us drilling you. that's not nice. you must be hungry..." (honestly WHY would i be hungry when i was stabbed in the mouth several times, that alone made me lose my appetite) I think you should stop talking to me and just do your job.
I'm gone for now, cooping with my face and lack of feeling.
<3 Stephani
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Just July 3.
So today was just another day but so much more.
i got tan arms and a LITTLE tan on my legs but they are still white :)
The back of my neck however is TOTALLY BURNED.
all i can do is hope and pray that it tuns into a nice tan like it usually does.
Now i am babysitting.
Eric is a little chatter box.
form the moment i walk through the door, to the moment he crashed
he was talking. he talked about anything..... and yes, EVERYTHING
it's rejuvenating. it means there is no awkwardness of a random stranger
and i don't have to do as much entertaining. YIPEE!
James is just crazy! talking in his own little way and always wanting to play.
i can't believe a year ago i knew this little boy to be SOOO shy and in his own little world.
Now he loves to make shooting noises and squeal! haha, it's quite amazing actually.
Natalie. What can i say?
she is so amazing. really mature and knows what to do without a word.
so helpful and it screams.... why do i even need to be here?
i am not complaining though. i love these kids and would spend time with them ANY day.
there of course is one little guy that has grown up in a flash!
little Steven...
sniffle! he is getting so big.
it seems like yesterday that i saw him a day old.
now he's almost ONE?!?!
he is actually quite peculiar.
he knows he does not like his crib. set him in he cries.
and i am a sucker for baby cries. i just can't see it happening around me :(
i then repeatedly pick him up and bounce him until he is so sleepy.
his eyes will get all heavy but every time he feels his eyes close, he shoots them back open
as if there were something scary on the other side of a little bit of sleep.
after he finally gives in it's time to put him in his crib.
SIKE! he's awake again. but this time he will admit he is tired and move around to get comfortable and close his eyes, but you can't leave his side.
you have to hold his hand and wait.
he is so cute.
i finally just let him sleep like that.... for like an HOUR.
then i found it safe to put him in his crib.
Everyone is safe asleep and everything is alright.
thank goodness prayers are answered!
I got to write Erik a letter while i was letting Steven sleep a little bit.
i have come to realize that for me, writing letters is rejuvenating and very therapeutic.
when i write it puts things out of my head and down in front of me.
i get an epiphany almost every time. it's great!
letter writing makes you think "do i really mean that?"
and "what do i want?" when some one asks what's new with me in a letter,
in the reply i must be truthful. i have more time in replying then i do in person so why not make it very honest and real?
and when you are writing to someone you really care about... that just reinforces it.
a best friend. i won't lie to you and even though you may not want to hear it, you are going to get it because you asked. hehe, you know next time you ask me a question in a letter you are going to be really careful aren't you?
i know i know.
i do tend to drone on and on about nothing and i feel really good about writing it but in the end i edit and sometimes don't even send the letter.
it may be seen as a waste but a letter to you is really helping me more than anything else.
oh and don't you hate it when you get online for one reason and ONE reason alone
and you get distracted or for some reason cannot receive the message?
well, i get on for one purpose and one purpose alone and do not receive the message because i am lost in thought of the letter i am writing. GREAT!
my night just went from happy to mostly sad.
i am indeed going to have to open the ben and jerry's i bought and watch a chick flick.
so sad it is. right under my nose!!!
i think this is a new lesson to not get wrapped up in letter writing
and maybe i should've stopped while i still had the chance.
i must point out that letter writing may uprise some emotional feelings and problems you didn't want to go into.
caution for those wanting to write a letter:
it's better to tell a person IN person.
haha! but there is justification if you physically CANNOT do that.
(yay, i'm justified!)
i guess this is a rather jumbled blog so i will stop while i still have the chance.
:)
i'm thinking of you, really!
Countdown:
there is really no date i am counting down to right now.
i have a lifetime to find happiness i already have and
not another day to procrastinate
live.laugh.love
i got tan arms and a LITTLE tan on my legs but they are still white :)
The back of my neck however is TOTALLY BURNED.
all i can do is hope and pray that it tuns into a nice tan like it usually does.
Now i am babysitting.
Eric is a little chatter box.
form the moment i walk through the door, to the moment he crashed
he was talking. he talked about anything..... and yes, EVERYTHING
it's rejuvenating. it means there is no awkwardness of a random stranger
and i don't have to do as much entertaining. YIPEE!
James is just crazy! talking in his own little way and always wanting to play.
i can't believe a year ago i knew this little boy to be SOOO shy and in his own little world.
Now he loves to make shooting noises and squeal! haha, it's quite amazing actually.
Natalie. What can i say?
she is so amazing. really mature and knows what to do without a word.
so helpful and it screams.... why do i even need to be here?
i am not complaining though. i love these kids and would spend time with them ANY day.
there of course is one little guy that has grown up in a flash!
little Steven...
sniffle! he is getting so big.
it seems like yesterday that i saw him a day old.
now he's almost ONE?!?!
he is actually quite peculiar.
he knows he does not like his crib. set him in he cries.
and i am a sucker for baby cries. i just can't see it happening around me :(
i then repeatedly pick him up and bounce him until he is so sleepy.
his eyes will get all heavy but every time he feels his eyes close, he shoots them back open
as if there were something scary on the other side of a little bit of sleep.
after he finally gives in it's time to put him in his crib.
SIKE! he's awake again. but this time he will admit he is tired and move around to get comfortable and close his eyes, but you can't leave his side.
you have to hold his hand and wait.
he is so cute.
i finally just let him sleep like that.... for like an HOUR.
then i found it safe to put him in his crib.
Everyone is safe asleep and everything is alright.
thank goodness prayers are answered!
I got to write Erik a letter while i was letting Steven sleep a little bit.
i have come to realize that for me, writing letters is rejuvenating and very therapeutic.
when i write it puts things out of my head and down in front of me.
i get an epiphany almost every time. it's great!
letter writing makes you think "do i really mean that?"
and "what do i want?" when some one asks what's new with me in a letter,
in the reply i must be truthful. i have more time in replying then i do in person so why not make it very honest and real?
and when you are writing to someone you really care about... that just reinforces it.
a best friend. i won't lie to you and even though you may not want to hear it, you are going to get it because you asked. hehe, you know next time you ask me a question in a letter you are going to be really careful aren't you?
i know i know.
i do tend to drone on and on about nothing and i feel really good about writing it but in the end i edit and sometimes don't even send the letter.
it may be seen as a waste but a letter to you is really helping me more than anything else.
oh and don't you hate it when you get online for one reason and ONE reason alone
and you get distracted or for some reason cannot receive the message?
well, i get on for one purpose and one purpose alone and do not receive the message because i am lost in thought of the letter i am writing. GREAT!
my night just went from happy to mostly sad.
i am indeed going to have to open the ben and jerry's i bought and watch a chick flick.
so sad it is. right under my nose!!!
i think this is a new lesson to not get wrapped up in letter writing
and maybe i should've stopped while i still had the chance.
i must point out that letter writing may uprise some emotional feelings and problems you didn't want to go into.
caution for those wanting to write a letter:
it's better to tell a person IN person.
haha! but there is justification if you physically CANNOT do that.
(yay, i'm justified!)
i guess this is a rather jumbled blog so i will stop while i still have the chance.
:)
i'm thinking of you, really!
Countdown:
there is really no date i am counting down to right now.
i have a lifetime to find happiness i already have and
not another day to procrastinate
live.laugh.love
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Summer life of the graduated.
Stay up late and sleep in.
clean a little and work.
what else is there to do?
Germany has had some pretty good thunder storms lately
and i LOVE it.
it's pretty great but i am terribly missing one of the best friends i have.
Graduating means moving on and saying goodbye, but it really SUCKS!
So far i have spent almost a week in Garmisch, that was pretty fun.
And i have been working ever since i've been back.
I enjoyed writing my Best Friend everyday, it helped me get things off my mind and on to paper.
i'll tell you, it's like therapy. Letter Therapy.
HAHA!
Hmm, other than that my summer has been full of FUN dates.
Everything from boardgames to movies and Family time to "Pointless" walks up to castles.
9 o'clock at night just to dance in the clouds.
:)
am i lucky or am i lucky?
I think Erik was all good luck i had.
The day he left, i slammed my thumb in the car door.
i walked it off just to stop breathing and lose vision.
yes, i am so blessed!
I get caught in the poring rain with no jacket and get to stare at a lava lamp for fun to remind me that i'm loved.
My live is never going to be bad as it once was and if so, it can always be worse.
Optimism is key!
COUNTDOWN:
55 Days until i'm an OFFICIAL college student
169 Days until Winter Break
170 Days until i'm back in Germany?
?? Days until i get my Passport
?? Days until i leave country
Live.Laugh.Love
clean a little and work.
what else is there to do?
Germany has had some pretty good thunder storms lately
and i LOVE it.
it's pretty great but i am terribly missing one of the best friends i have.
Graduating means moving on and saying goodbye, but it really SUCKS!
So far i have spent almost a week in Garmisch, that was pretty fun.
And i have been working ever since i've been back.
I enjoyed writing my Best Friend everyday, it helped me get things off my mind and on to paper.
i'll tell you, it's like therapy. Letter Therapy.
HAHA!
Hmm, other than that my summer has been full of FUN dates.
Everything from boardgames to movies and Family time to "Pointless" walks up to castles.
9 o'clock at night just to dance in the clouds.
:)
am i lucky or am i lucky?
I think Erik was all good luck i had.
The day he left, i slammed my thumb in the car door.
i walked it off just to stop breathing and lose vision.
yes, i am so blessed!
I get caught in the poring rain with no jacket and get to stare at a lava lamp for fun to remind me that i'm loved.
My live is never going to be bad as it once was and if so, it can always be worse.
Optimism is key!
COUNTDOWN:
55 Days until i'm an OFFICIAL college student
169 Days until Winter Break
170 Days until i'm back in Germany?
?? Days until i get my Passport
?? Days until i leave country
Live.Laugh.Love
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