Just July 3.

So today was just another day but so much more.
i got tan arms and a LITTLE tan on my legs but they are still white :)
The back of my neck however is TOTALLY BURNED.
all i can do is hope and pray that it tuns into a nice tan like it usually does.

Now i am babysitting.
Eric is a little chatter box.
form the moment i walk through the door, to the moment he crashed
he was talking. he talked about anything..... and yes, EVERYTHING
it's rejuvenating. it means there is no awkwardness of a random stranger
and i don't have to do as much entertaining. YIPEE!
James is just crazy! talking in his own little way and always wanting to play.
i can't believe a year ago i knew this little boy to be SOOO shy and in his own little world.
Now he loves to make shooting noises and squeal! haha, it's quite amazing actually.
Natalie. What can i say?
she is so amazing. really mature and knows what to do without a word.
so helpful and it screams.... why do i even need to be here?
i am not complaining though. i love these kids and would spend time with them ANY day.
there of course is one little guy that has grown up in a flash!
little Steven...
sniffle! he is getting so big.
it seems like yesterday that i saw him a day old.
now he's almost ONE?!?!
he is actually quite peculiar.
he knows he does not like his crib. set him in he cries.
and i am a sucker for baby cries. i just can't see it happening around me :(
i then repeatedly pick him up and bounce him until he is so sleepy.
his eyes will get all heavy but every time he feels his eyes close, he shoots them back open
as if there were something scary on the other side of a little bit of sleep.
after he finally gives in it's time to put him in his crib.
SIKE! he's awake again. but this time he will admit he is tired and move around to get comfortable and close his eyes, but you can't leave his side.
you have to hold his hand and wait.
he is so cute.
i finally just let him sleep like that.... for like an HOUR.
then i found it safe to put him in his crib.
Everyone is safe asleep and everything is alright.
thank goodness prayers are answered!

I got to write Erik a letter while i was letting Steven sleep a little bit.
i have come to realize that for me, writing letters is rejuvenating and very therapeutic.
when i write it puts things out of my head and down in front of me.
i get an epiphany almost every time. it's great!
letter writing makes you think "do i really mean that?"
and "what do i want?" when some one asks what's new with me in a letter,
in the reply i must be truthful. i have more time in replying then i do in person so why not make it very honest and real?
and when you are writing to someone you really care about... that just reinforces it.
a best friend. i won't lie to you and even though you may not want to hear it, you are going to get it because you asked. hehe, you know next time you ask me a question in a letter you are going to be really careful aren't you?
i know i know.
i do tend to drone on and on about nothing and i feel really good about writing it but in the end i edit and sometimes don't even send the letter.
it may be seen as a waste but a letter to you is really helping me more than anything else.

oh and don't you hate it when you get online for one reason and ONE reason alone
and you get distracted or for some reason cannot receive the message?
well, i get on for one purpose and one purpose alone and do not receive the message because i am lost in thought of the letter i am writing. GREAT!
my night just went from happy to mostly sad.
i am indeed going to have to open the ben and jerry's i bought and watch a chick flick.
so sad it is. right under my nose!!!
i think this is a new lesson to not get wrapped up in letter writing
and maybe i should've stopped while i still had the chance.
i must point out that letter writing may uprise some emotional feelings and problems you didn't want to go into.
caution for those wanting to write a letter:
it's better to tell a person IN person.
haha! but there is justification if you physically CANNOT do that.
(yay, i'm justified!)

i guess this is a rather jumbled blog so i will stop while i still have the chance.
:)
i'm thinking of you, really!


Countdown:
there is really no date i am counting down to right now.
i have a lifetime to find happiness i already have and
not another day to procrastinate

live.laugh.love

Summer life of the graduated.

Stay up late and sleep in.
clean a little and work.
what else is there to do?
Germany has had some pretty good thunder storms lately
and i LOVE it.
it's pretty great but i am terribly missing one of the best friends i have.
Graduating means moving on and saying goodbye, but it really SUCKS!

So far i have spent almost a week in Garmisch, that was pretty fun.
And i have been working ever since i've been back.
I enjoyed writing my Best Friend everyday, it helped me get things off my mind and on to paper.
i'll tell you, it's like therapy. Letter Therapy.
HAHA!
Hmm, other than that my summer has been full of FUN dates.
Everything from boardgames to movies and Family time to "Pointless" walks up to castles.
9 o'clock at night just to dance in the clouds.
:)
am i lucky or am i lucky?
I think Erik was all good luck i had.
The day he left, i slammed my thumb in the car door.
i walked it off just to stop breathing and lose vision.
yes, i am so blessed!

I get caught in the poring rain with no jacket and get to stare at a lava lamp for fun to remind me that i'm loved.
My live is never going to be bad as it once was and if so, it can always be worse.
Optimism is key!

COUNTDOWN:
55 Days until i'm an OFFICIAL college student
169 Days until Winter Break
170 Days until i'm back in Germany?
?? Days until i get my Passport
?? Days until i leave country

Live.Laugh.Love

UGH-ness.

so this has been a really hard week.
i start finals next week so i'm trying to get my life together.
i'm actually doing homework but it's causing me to spend every
minute of being in school in a class room.
trying to pass this school year and get on with life.
ok, so now i have school pretty much in order but there are a ton
of other problems that have come up recently.
like for instance,
my PASSPORT.
its missing.
can you tell i'm freaking out and may not be able to get to the
states anytime soon?
i can't even go to luxemburg to visit the cemetery.
COLLEGE.
i can't register for a math class on polytech so i am not considered
full time so i couldn't get my plane ticket even if i HAD my passport.
SEMINARY.
lots of work to do for that but no time to do it. but i will be doing
it as soon as i get this all out of my head.
TALK
talk for seminary graduation.
haha. couldn't say i didn't see it coming. i REALLY did.
FINALS.
gotta pass, gotta graduate.
GRADUATION.
further away so we could have more seats.
why are we still only getting 5 tickets?!
just to fit those living in my house i would need double that.
but i have more than that coming.
ANNOUNCEMENTS.
still don't have them done. still don't have them sent.
do i even want to do them anymore?
that is the question.
PAINS, PAINS, PAINS.
i'm slowly dying in the process of being sooooo stressed out.
can someone help me?
can anyone save me?!

nonetheless.
12 days until GRADUATION.
7 days until SEMINAR GRADUATION.
?? days until i find my PASSPORT.
?? days until i get out of COUNTRY.
?? days until i DIE.
1 second before i go INSANE.

-live.laugh.love.
*when all is said and done, REMEMbER ME.

I know, I know...

it has been a while.
but i must say i am barely surviving now.
i thought i was going to DYING when i was going through life guard certification
but i managed.
and PASSED! :)

then things relaxed and now i'm dealing with pains of moving on.
what do i do?
well, it is my opinion that I am screwed over.
Germany and I are enemies and it will never change.
it all started 3 years ago!
but that is whatever. it's past
but now it's messing with my head AND my future.
I have to finish somethings in order to complete my admission process but every time I call for assistance i get the same answer.
"you need to do this and that..."
"but it all requires you to be here"
UGH!
i'm sure I have time since I can't do that for a while but there is the outside force of family.
sure I need it done and I need this and that...
but I can't until i get there or convince them there is no other way.
maybe a semester off will do me some good.
but I really wish I wouldn't have to

all in all I think I just need to dance.
RIGHT?
ok. I just said that to make me feel a little better :)
Stress will surely be the death of me.
so i might as well make the best of it!

STRESS QUOTES:

“Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it”

“In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.”

“Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness”

“Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.”

haha!
and these are just a few of the good ones i have found.
I feel much better now.
so I guess i'm off to sleep :)

COUNT DOWN:
35 days until dad gets here
40 days until '09 graduation!
[29 school days]

***still 8 months until i'm NOT engaged, married or otherwise ;)***

ily.<3

Friends && Joy

What can i say about friends?
they are there no matter what.

Flavors come and go but friends are the flavors that never leave your mouth.
they are the mouth wash to comfort you after you have failed with your latest flavor.
what can i say, i'm fond of my mouthwash. i use it OFTEN
:)

never the less, i am still grateful for even my five minute friends.
here is my week in pictures &&what a great week is was!

[[SEMiNAR WiTH KATELYN]]


[[LUNCH WiTH OUR TRiO]]


[[AFTER SCHOOL]]


COUNT DOWN:
8 days of spring break LEFT.
17 days until SPAiN.
62 days until '09 graduation!
[39 school days]

.:off the record:.
-approximately 87 days until i leave Germany.
-approximately 8 months until i'm STiLL NOT married.
-approximately 1 minute until i lose my mind.
-approxiamtely 3 lines before i tell you goodnight

Live.Laugh.Love
GOODNiGHT <3

Mi Familia

My grandma is living with us now and mann is life FUNN :)
everything is clean and my brothers are almost whipped
mwahahaha.
I wish everyone could see this,
and i must say my grandma is the most fun to joke with.
not like my mom,
i can't say BUTT around her
:D


Now on the other hand,
MY BROTHER!
now in Germany and it's a WAR ZONE ((literally))
so i just want a picture with my brother to put on a blog.
make the moment a kodak one.. you know?
well, it turned into a wrestling match and things went CRAZY!
-the way i like it :)-

[[the pic before the war]]


[[preparing for battle]]


[[the fight]]

((mwahahahahaha))

[[the defeated]]


I'm sure I had a lot to talk about in this blog before I went to go get that picture.
but now I'm beat :)

ily.
<3

The "ultimate" -SEN!OR.STATUS-

So, I must thank Sister Frandsen for all the hard work and grace she gave me.
She made me look good even with crazy hair that wants to stand on ends.

First, OUTSIDE on a beautiful day...
[[Sara and I]]



[[alone]]


Then, we had more fun indoors...
[[nice]]


[[cap]]


and LAST we showed off the uniform...
[[top picks]]


[[goodbye Cheerleading!]]


Graduation is coming fast and you better believe I am EMBRACING it :)
Thanks to everyone who helped me get this far.
ily.
<3

THE UPDATE

so i ponder what to write about...
what should i write about?
the only thing i needed to do was ask Erik
:)
"what should i blog about Erik?"
-"how about the dance on Friday or how much you like stars?"-
LOL
thank you ERIK!

THE GOLD AND GREEN BALL!
[thuh gohld ānd green bawl]
DEFINITION:

1. Excuse for elderly people to join the youth dancing around in a crowded gym for three hours.
2. Excuse for Teens to REWEAR their prom/homecoming dresses.
3. A place to watch young people do new steps while the others are stuck in "the glory days" with their dance moves
4. Refreshments anyone?
5. A chance for not so old YSA's to be a part of the youth
6. A place where you can see all those REALLY cute guys from various places that you NEVER see.
7. The excuse to dance with people from rival schools, it is forbidden elsewhere unless you are HOOKED.

EVIDENCE:



THE DATE:



THE BEST:



too bad Katelyn didn't come.
she would've had fun!
to do list:
1. get Katelyn to come to movies with me, *cough, and *cough!
2. Save money for college
3. LIVE UP MY LAST DAYS IN GERMANY =]


COUNT DOWN:
4 days until spring break
23 days until SPAIN
68 days until '09 graduation!
[43 school days]

Live.Laugh.Love