What a week it has been!! I'm currently trying to keep myself busy and find a job that will help me for the next 7 months. AH! it's all so crazy but it's what's best i think. BYU-Idaho will be best for me and get me away from everything i was/am falling into. It's time to get independently stable for the next few years. But in the mean time I'm keeping myself occupied with books. I'm currently reading Stephenie Meyer's newest Twilight book about Bree Tanner and it's pretty good. I'm also waiting for a book to be sent to me called Diamonds Are Forever. i'm really excited to read it and it just can't come fast enough. But it will give me time to finish the one I'm reading. Reading keeps my mind off things I don't want to think about and takes me to my "happy place" I guess you could call it. Too bad I'm not a better writer or else i could create my happy place on paper :) But i do get to write Erik. I like hearing about his missionary stories and he sends the funniest pictures that are cartoons with quotes on them. funny little comic type things. I miss him so but I'm still so happy. I will admit i could use a friend and he was only the best friend anyone could ask for but it is quite alright. I will just have to be the social Stephani I used to be. SCARY! haha. just kidding. I'm not anti-social like the rest of my family. Oh, I love them so. Well that's all that's new besides a new hair cut and my hilarious grandmother who is staying with us for the next month or so. "Jerk face." At least I have her to keep me company and make jokes with.
-StephANii
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
May 4, 2010
I made it through yet another semester here at ASU. I have made it through an entire year of college life and i still long for more sleep. I can say that this semester was a lot better than last semester though. Cheesey as it may seem, I have found myself. Who i really am. I compare my many years of living and I have one thing sticking out in my mind especially right now. "living in the moment" All i heard throughout high middle and high school was that phrase. LIVE FOR THE MOMENT. I don't know what was up but it seemed like when i was "living for the moment my life was great for only the moment and it would suck not too long after. The problem? It wasn't the phrase or the peer pressure. It was simply that i was living for the wrong moment. I was told by all the wrong people to live for the moment. I was told that the moment i was living for was because i could die the next. Still a true statement but it was taken in the wrong sense. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, We are counseled to live for the moment too only it wasn't the moment i was living for. The difference is in the perspective. Growing up, it was about doing everything you can because you might not get to go bungee jumping if you die tomorrow. You won't be able to kiss a boy if you die tomorrow. You won't find another stupid moment with your friends like this so do it, do it NOW. do it because there is nothing better for you if you die tomorrow. Well as you can tell things have changed. I'm living for the moment but that moment is tomorrow i may die, i may not see my friends for a very long time but Tomorrow may also be the day i met my maker. Who am i afraid of? I don't mind anymore what people think of me as a person if i say no. Standing my ground is what my moment is. Could i possibly die, give up my spirit knowing that i didn't put up a fight for my rights? Could i be happy with whatever is to come next if i know that i was as a fickle little girl only doing things for the moment of pleasure and not the moment or eternal happiness? I'm living in the moment. I'm living this moment for the moment to come. Not the non-existant moment that would make me want to do something stupid because i might not get another chance like this. This is a long journey i'm on. i'm trying not to get caught up in the future and the things that will make me happy in the future but i'm not living for the wrong moment either. What moment are you living for? Whatever it is, i hope it makes you happy... Eternally.
-StephANii
-StephANii
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
it's been awhile... ok, over 6 months.
so today i got a thought. REASONS TO BLOG....
There is the 1. to keep people informed and keep me from going insane. (it's a nice way to vent). then there is 2. something funny/worth telling happens and you just HAVE to let someone know. even if not many people read the blog. on day it will make someone happy. next, 3. you physically can't talk to communicate. this morning i went to the dentist and got a painful stabbing in my mouth at least SIX times. needless to say i'm numb more than i should have been. i can barely control my right eye. haha. it is kind of funny. anyways. the point is. i can't talk. there are a lot of reasons to blog but i also started thinking (sorry i just can't stop thinking, i'm STEPHANI).... why HAVEN'T i been blogging?
OH YEA! i'm not a broke college kid trying to survive and every spare minute was spent eating, catching up on my lost sleep, relaxing with friends or at church. it was worth it but i realized i miss blogging too. so here i am. i could be doing more but i have reasons for not doing it too.
cleaning the kitchen: i'm hungry and can't eat because i might eat my tongue instead. so i might as well not clean because it's too tempting. cleaning anything else would be almost crazy because i might just make it worse :) -fyi. i just bit my lip-
eating: I can't because i will eat my tongue instead. it will hurt after i can feel my face again. the end.
reading: i like reading but the book i'm reading i have already read half of it. but i started from the beginning again so it's boring until i will get to where i left off. and it's taking me FOREVER because yes. it's not the fun to reread things. movies yes, you can watch them again and again and they may or may not ever get old but reading books are like, you need something new. end of that story
ok. i'm done. i don't need to explain more. one last thing i found worth noting is things you don't want to hear while you are dozing in and out in a dentist's chair.
here is a few that i heard that you may never want to hear for yourself.
1. "wow, she has a LOT of tissue."
2. "....well, she's young!"
3. "look at this. it's intact! i've never actually done one and it still be intact"
now you have to trust me, you don't want to hear dentists (a black lady and her assistant) plan a white history month. they plan foods and talk about trips to france, england and whales. and then they end it with, "i'm sorry we are talking about food with us drilling you. that's not nice. you must be hungry..." (honestly WHY would i be hungry when i was stabbed in the mouth several times, that alone made me lose my appetite) I think you should stop talking to me and just do your job.
I'm gone for now, cooping with my face and lack of feeling.
<3 Stephani
There is the 1. to keep people informed and keep me from going insane. (it's a nice way to vent). then there is 2. something funny/worth telling happens and you just HAVE to let someone know. even if not many people read the blog. on day it will make someone happy. next, 3. you physically can't talk to communicate. this morning i went to the dentist and got a painful stabbing in my mouth at least SIX times. needless to say i'm numb more than i should have been. i can barely control my right eye. haha. it is kind of funny. anyways. the point is. i can't talk. there are a lot of reasons to blog but i also started thinking (sorry i just can't stop thinking, i'm STEPHANI).... why HAVEN'T i been blogging?
OH YEA! i'm not a broke college kid trying to survive and every spare minute was spent eating, catching up on my lost sleep, relaxing with friends or at church. it was worth it but i realized i miss blogging too. so here i am. i could be doing more but i have reasons for not doing it too.
cleaning the kitchen: i'm hungry and can't eat because i might eat my tongue instead. so i might as well not clean because it's too tempting. cleaning anything else would be almost crazy because i might just make it worse :) -fyi. i just bit my lip-
eating: I can't because i will eat my tongue instead. it will hurt after i can feel my face again. the end.
reading: i like reading but the book i'm reading i have already read half of it. but i started from the beginning again so it's boring until i will get to where i left off. and it's taking me FOREVER because yes. it's not the fun to reread things. movies yes, you can watch them again and again and they may or may not ever get old but reading books are like, you need something new. end of that story
ok. i'm done. i don't need to explain more. one last thing i found worth noting is things you don't want to hear while you are dozing in and out in a dentist's chair.
here is a few that i heard that you may never want to hear for yourself.
1. "wow, she has a LOT of tissue."
2. "....well, she's young!"
3. "look at this. it's intact! i've never actually done one and it still be intact"
now you have to trust me, you don't want to hear dentists (a black lady and her assistant) plan a white history month. they plan foods and talk about trips to france, england and whales. and then they end it with, "i'm sorry we are talking about food with us drilling you. that's not nice. you must be hungry..." (honestly WHY would i be hungry when i was stabbed in the mouth several times, that alone made me lose my appetite) I think you should stop talking to me and just do your job.
I'm gone for now, cooping with my face and lack of feeling.
<3 Stephani
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
